How about we….
How about I don’t take away your right to own a firearm and you don’t take away my right to marry who I choose? Deal?
The other day I was in the grocery store. It was sample Saturday, and we walked by a woman pimping jelly. Normally I turn down samples if I’m in a hurry, but I’m pregnant and hungry for everything all the time, so I tried it out.
It was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread and it was sooooo good. You can really taste all the sticky peanut butter and gooey jelly without all that healthy grain getting in the way.
I don’t think I’ve had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread in 15 years. If you’re even eating bread at all, like me you probably just eat the whole grain variety, which honestly sucks, but hey I guess that’s what grown ups do. I may be a grown up, but damn if I’m not going to enjoy me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread on occasion. Try one and see if it doesn’t make you smile.
#Idareyou
Not my words, but so very good
Claiming that someone else’s marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you’re on a diet.
Love letter to the world’s best IPA
Oh Hopslam, you sweet nectar of the gods, I want to taste your sweet honey, hoppy goodness. I know this makes me a terrible person for dreaming of beer while I’m knocked up, but I can’t wait until September when we will be together once again. Just you, me, and a frosty glass, just as god intended.
Is there seriously not a test for common sense in the NFL? Hello, idiot! You can’t appear in a national magazine WITH GUNS in your hands and call your boss “the devil”. What alternate universe are these morons living in that you didn’t notice that the NFL is kinda anti-gun, anti-gay slur right now?
Wondering why you’re being targeted by the NFL? Because you have zero respect for yourself, the fans, the team or business that has made you a millionaire, the young people that unfortunately look to you as a role model, or this whole thing we have going on called a civilized society. Stop. Look around. Pay attention. Try to remember what it was like not to be a coddled millionaire. Abide by the following:
Can’t call your boss any of the following: The Devil, A Crook, any reference to him being on fire
Maybe you don’t call out your team mates for having bad games when you had ONE TACKLE in the Superbowl! (and lost)
When the NFL is trying to implement an image overhaul and distance itself from people thinking it’s full of criminals, maybe you don’t pose with guns.
Remember all those fines for anti-gay slurs professional athletes have gotten lately? Maybe you don’t use a gay slur in reference to your boss in a printed magazine!
Thank you and have a nice day.
In case you’re keeping track, that is #1,976,032, and I have officially paid enough parking fines to the City of Columbus to balance our City’s budget. You’re welcome Columbus, you’re welcome.
Beyonce feat Jay Z Bonnie & Clyde (by TheMarcianGirl)
Cuz that’s how I roll
What about Alert Level Orange?
Now how the fuck are we supposed to figure out when to put our helmets on and duck and cover if they’re going to get rid of the oh so useful color coded terror alert system?
http://www.cnn.com/2011/TRAVEL/04/20/terrorism.advisory.system/index.html?hpt=T2
I’ll be in the basement if you need me.
Dolla Dolla Bills Y’all. Here is a list of things that I think would be infinitely better than rolling my 401K over from old job into a new 401K:
Taking the check to the bank and asking for CASH, in all nickels and $5 bills b/c 5 is my lucky number.
Again, cashing the check in all $1 bills and inviting our friends over so we can take turns standing on our coffee table and making it rain (see above)
Buying as many Ben Rothelisberger jersey’s as I can find and setting them on fire.
Building a sand volley ball court in our backyard. We Rent.
Ball pit
All of the HopSlam left in Columbus
Strippers
Going to target and buying lots and lots of batteries
Hiring Hall & Oats to come to our house and cook us dinner
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